People on dates try to present the best side of themselves at all times. This is not a problem when dating a recent acquaintance. In this situation the other person is suspending their disbelief that the opposite sex is treacherous. At least regarding their date. At least for dinner. So it is with this ninety-meter head start that we are able to portray ourselves as we want to be seen, rather than the vile, disgusting creatures we see in the mirror.
This is not the case with dates involving friends, though. Friends know things. Sometimes, friends know too many things, and they must be disposed of. But these are special circumstances, and I promised the nice people at county that I wouldn’t talk about it to anyone.
It isn’t as if the date wasn’t enough of a challenge. The girl has grown up to be gorgeous, leaving her hometown’s 3 or 4 for 9’s and 10’s. Simply talking to her has ceased to be simple, as my eyes plot against me. Any sanctuary such as the eyes has become hostile. By glancing into them I am taken aback, reminded of “Lily’s Hazel Eyes,” and become ensnared. To free myself I lower my eyes, and in my mind’s eye behold Bethar. Cognizant of my longing to see such a landscape in person, again I flee. Looking away I regard drabness: the world. Now drawn back from the recesses of my imagination I realize that I have, of course, NOT been paying attention to the speech of the girl sitting across from me. And I am still staring into space. Firmly in control of my senses, I return to her gaze. Damn those hazel eyes. I told you this was already tough enough.
It is as if she had been waiting for a signal from the insurgents within my mind. Perhaps a flare claiming victory over the sovereign me, and all my faculties. She asks me, “Where do you see yourself in twenty years?” It’s an easy enough question (And anticlimactic in lots of ways, I know. Don’t blame me though, I already informed you that I don’t write these stories.). Nonetheless, I was taken aback by my lack of latitude. I had never been put to the question by someone that actually knows me. Having been asked this or some similar question several times recently, I scanned my veritable filing cabinet of answers that I had produced. It was to no avail. Nothing seemed apropos for this discussion.
Realizing that I really wasn’t trying to impress, but rather survive a discussion with a pretty lady, I volunteered ignorance. I have no idea where I will be in twenty years. Having had my life determined for me to this point, I am become Yoda, declaring, “Hard to see the future is. The dark side clouds everything.” I feel I could see something if only my gaze were guided. Or maybe, like my myopic eyes, my mind needs corrective lenses.
That sounds great. And it is even mildly poetic. I’m not certain that isn’t just an attempt to circumvent the issue though. There has really been no point even I can discern within this post, so I wouldn’t expect too much in the way of a conclusion either. We'll revisit this one later, when it has settled.
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